My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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