On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize