he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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