you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
birth control should be required to get into college
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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