We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
