So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
