I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
