I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
