if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
