My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
