He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
