Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
