fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize