there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
