so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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