At least make sure they are 18
Why
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
