Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
