Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I will pee on everything he values.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
