Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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