I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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