can we get nightvision for the apartment?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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