i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
