I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize