Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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