I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
