At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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