yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
COCAINE IS GR8
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