Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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