I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
