...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
