I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
operation have a gay friend backfired
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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