she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
