with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Buhtt sex?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
me + whiskey = a bad person
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
