Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Randomize
