Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Randomize
