Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
