my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
