You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
