remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
