That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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