lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
