You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
