Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize