i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
