i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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