So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
