Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
