out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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