he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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