it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The feeling are messing with the penis
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
