I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
