Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
