Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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