i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
