I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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