Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize