i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
