SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
