Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize